Late Night Thoughts

So we’ve had snow, burritos, burgers, cake, and Lemony Snicket. It’s been an interesting day away from the computer, reading my way through the Yiddish Policeman’s Union, with only the barest hints of writing. As i’m writing it’s snowing once more, and I can’t help but be excited for tomorrow as it’s my partner’s birthday celebration.

Everything’s very introspective today, but maybe that’s because i’ve been away from the keyboard for most of it. The news adaptation of A.S.O.U.E, the noir reality of Y.P.U, and reading through my first attempts of writing my novel. It’s been a day where everything seems too stuffy, and extremely heavy. Goals are to massive, too far away, or just plain silly, but then I sit here and look out of the window remembering that there’s always balance.

It’s easy to come up with ideas, but the true strength comes from acting on those ideas, sticking with them through the moments where you don’t see a point. I think as human beings we focus too much on the start and end of things, rarely savouring those moments in the middle where we don’t know what’s going on. My advice would be to look around you and realise that here you are, surrounded by whatever it is that affects your life, defining you somewhat and you defining it.

I am proud to say that I have very little control over what happens in my life, but enough sense to learn and use it whenever i’ve got the chance. Moments shared with people both good and bad have made their way into my work, and while I have taken a somewhat longer route to realise what I want, i’m glad for the chance to figure it out.

I don’t believe that things happen for a reason, unless of course that reason is to learn, to give an opportunity to grow as a human being. I look back on my life and i’m happy to say I cringe a little, then I smile because I can look back and see what an idiot I was, which means i’ve become slightly more adult-shaped.

I am a worrier, surrounded by people with similar thoughts, similar fears, but slightly different variations on what they mean and how significant they are. For me this is a chance to figure a little more about the world, and also myself. I think we need difference in the world, it’s what keeps us from thinking we’re better than other people, it reminds us we’re all a little strange.




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